Hi Elaine
I really really really really really love the new look!
You`ll have to tell me where you bought that wonderful transforming magic wand!
Thanks SO much!
xx
Tuesday 27 July 2010
Saturday 24 July 2010
Tuesday 6 July 2010
Fair comment? Oh Dear!
James has left a new comment on your post "Pilgrimage to Mecca via the Mersey- completed vers...":
Whilst the contrast of different cultures is a legitimate literary device, there is a danger of this turning into a travelogue about Turkey!
There's also too much emphasis on the bladder!
Some nice phrases in this but try to avoid being too didactic. Readers like to be informed but not necessarily lectured!
It's your story, however metaphysical in style. Achieving the closest intimacy with your reader is always desirable but it doesn't include asking your reader questions!
That's bad form. Makes it appear you are running out of things to say. And if you are going to be a good writer that should never be the case. Very good descriptive prose though.
George.
Whilst the contrast of different cultures is a legitimate literary device, there is a danger of this turning into a travelogue about Turkey!
There's also too much emphasis on the bladder!
Some nice phrases in this but try to avoid being too didactic. Readers like to be informed but not necessarily lectured!
It's your story, however metaphysical in style. Achieving the closest intimacy with your reader is always desirable but it doesn't include asking your reader questions!
That's bad form. Makes it appear you are running out of things to say. And if you are going to be a good writer that should never be the case. Very good descriptive prose though.
George.
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